The last two weeks have taught me so much. Something that has been coming up a lot is being desperate for the Lord. Having so much faith that you long for the tiniest touch of the Lord. Mark 5:25-34 describes one of Jesus’ miracles of healing a sick woman. As Jesus was walking through the town, this woman who had been bleeding for 12 years and who had undergone great suffering trying to be cured was in the crowd. She had heard of Jesus and as she walked through the crowd she thought that if she just got a touch of his clothes that she would be healed. Mark says, “because she thought ‘if I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.’ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.” (NIV) Jesus felt power leave him and asked who touched him, and as the woman confessed and explained her story. He says, “‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.’” (NIV). I thought of this story last week as I was preparing a devotion for our bomake. How amazing was it that this woman had so much faith that she knew the slightest touch of the clothes of Jesus would heal her. She was desperate for the Lord and her faith was revealed through that desperation.
Being here in Eswatini, I have seen desperation for the Lord. During ATL last Monday, we came across a woman who we saw the first ATL. She is a beggar and she reminds of the woman who was desperate for a touch of Jesus. We walked to her and she reached out her arms to us and begged for prayer. As we all prayed for her she sobbed, and continued to touch all of us in faith and desperation of healing and deliverance from her situation.
Throughout the last 2 weeks, I have thought of this woman and I have thought of the word and meaning of desperation. This last week our squad decided to change up what we’ve been doing in preparation for an all night revival we were going to have. The idea was to be more intentional with our time, our prayer life, and how we worship. I decided to go no contact with my family and friends and spend more time in the Word and pouring into my team here in search of that desperation for the Lord. This week of ministry was so fruitful. I got to play soccer with the older boys and learn more about their stories. I got to have more one-on-ones with people on my team and hear about how the Lord has worked in their lives. I got to pray over kids and see them the way the Lord sees them. And I got to turn to the Lord in times where I felt heavy after ministry, and times where I was confused why these kids suffer the way they do, and in times of gratitude and thankfulness for all the Lord has given me and the people around me. Although going no contact was difficult, I was able to turn to the Lord instead of turning to the comfortability I find in my friends and family.
In seeking desperation and a deeper connection with the Lord, I have been trying to figure out what has been holding me back. There is a level of fear that comes with being intimate, and fully surrendering to the Lord. “We can know all things of God and yet our fear of trusting and of intimacy can hold us back from receiving the benefits of what Jesus died for.” –Jack Frost
Lord continue to reveal what I need to surrender, so I can be desperate for just the slightest encounter with you. Amen
Tears in my eyes over this one Taylor. Praise the Living God for the ways He has been faithful to move in your heart. HE IS SO GOOD. Keep pressing on.